Happy, Yet Bittersweet... and a Request of our WI Community!

Our old house is finally sold as of this morning.  It is a bittersweet day.  A happy day, but a bittersweet one.  It was more than a house for us.  It was a home.  A home that saw birthday parties, Easter egg hunts and holiday dinners.  The home that we brought our beautiful Ethiopian daughters to when they became part of our family.  It is where the girls learned to ride their bikes, tie their shoes and where the twins lost their first teeth.  It has creaky floors, a beautiful stairway and an amazing yard to play in.  It was a home filled with laughter and love.  All of these things and more made it a wonderful home for the Burke family!

Now it belongs to someone else.  I don’t know the people that own it now.  I don’t know if they are from the area or from somewhere completely different.  However, I pray it is more than a house for them as well.  I pray that it will be their home too.  I pray the new family living there will be warm by the wood burning stove.  I pray their holiday celebrations will be filled laughter and love.  I pray that they will enjoy the tree swing as much as my girls did. 

However, it’s more than just the house that I pray for them.  The people of this town welcomed us and enveloped us in their community.  We feel so much love and care from all of them.  We miss them terribly.  What I pray is that all of our friends and community will pray for this new family too.  Welcome them, whether they are people from the area or from far away.  If you see them in the yard when you drive by, wave to them.  If you pass them on your walk greet them and welcome them to the neighborhood.  Offer to help them move in.  Invite them to church.  Have them over for dinner.  Bake cookies for them.  Welcome them into the community just as you did for the Burke family.  Show them the love that will help them feel like this is now their home. 

I pray daily for our friends, family and community up North.  We miss you all beyond measure and look forward when we can visit you all!  Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!

The Christmas Song I Hate

I was driving to the church this morning.  The sun was shining on the water as I crossed over the dam toward the church.  The radio is playing and I'm thinking of what I need to accomplish today.  Then a song comes on the radio... We Need a Little Christmas.  I hate that song.  Truly hate it with every fiber of my being.  It's so... so... happy.  Cheerful.  Sugar coated.  It literally brought a vision to my mind of me suffocating elves with one hand while setting Santa's sleigh ablaze with an acetylene torch in the other hand.

You don't have to say it.  I know.  Bah Humbug.

I don't know what is with me this year.  I am not in the Christmas spirit.  I'm not even in the Advent spirit.  It's really weird.  Maybe it's the fact that there is no snow in South Carolina.  Maybe it's the fact that we're in a rental house and it doesn't feel like home.  Maybe "M^" having surgery and an infection has worn us down.  Maybe I don't know what to expect with Advent in our faith community.  Maybe it's the fact that my Facebook feed is full of negativity about the world we live in.  Maybe it's the shootings.  the violence.  the refugee crisis.  the racism.  materialism.  politics.  consumerism.  death.  darkness.

maybe.

I'm not sure I'm going to find my way to a gleeful Christmas filled with sugar plums and tinsel.  Honestly, I don't want to.  As each year passes I get more and more frustrated with how Christmas has become commercialized.  To our society it seems like an excuse for overindulgence and profit.  I don't need a little christmas.  At least not the Christmas that commercials, store fronts and magazines tell me I need to have.

I need the Christmas that comes with the birth of our Savior.  I don't need the glitz.  I don't need the gifts.  I don't even need the snow.  I don't need all of the things that society is screaming at each of us that we must have for the perfect Christmas.  All we need to celebrate Christmas is Jesus.  The trouble is that celebrating Jesus doesn't always include everything warm and fuzzy.  We must include the beautiful with those aspects that make us cringe.  Love that comes with God choosing to become fully human yet remain fully God.  Humility that comes with the creator of the universe becoming a vulnerable infant.  Risk that Mary willingly takes to birth God's son.  Potential shame that Joseph is willing to bare to wed an already pregnant betrothed.  Innocent children that Herod slaughters to pursue power.  A refugee family taking shelter in a foreign land.

This story that we claim to know and celebrate so prophetically... it can't be glossed over and maintain it's power.  It's more than just the simple tale of a mother giving birth among friendly beasts while angels sing and travelers bring gifts.  We need the raw and real Christmas.  We need it to touch our very souls until we cry out with praise for a God that loves us beyond measure.  Instead of just "needing a little christmas" I'll be searching this Advent for something else to come.

O come, O come, Emmanuel,
and ransom captive Israel,
that mourns in lonely exile here
until the Son of God appear.
Refrain:
Rejoice! Rejoice!
Emmanuel shall come to thee, O Israel.

O come, thou Wisdom from on high,
who orderest all things mightily;
to us the path of knowledge show,
and teach us in her ways to go. Refrain

O come, thou Rod of Jesse, free
thine own from Satan's tyranny;
from depths of hell thy people save,
and give them victory over the grave. Refrain

O come, thou Dayspring, come and cheer
our spirits by thine advent here;
disperse the gloomy clouds of night,
and death's dark shadows put to flight. Refrain

O come, thou Key of David, come,
and open wide our heavenly home;
make safe the way that leads on high,
and close the path to misery. Refrain

O come, O come, great Lord of might,
who to thy tribes on Sinai's height
in ancient times once gave the law
in cloud and majesty and awe. Refrain

O come, thou Root of Jesse's tree,
an ensign of thy people be;
before thee rulers silent fall;
all peoples on thy mercy call. Refrain

O come, Desire of nations, bind
in one the hearts of all mankind;
bid thou our sad divisions cease,
and be thyself our King of Peace. Refrain

O come, O come, Emmanuel,
and ransom captive Israel,
that mourns in lonely exile here
until the Son of God appear. Refrain

365 Days Seems Like Forever In My Heart

It is strange to think about.  One year seems like such a short time frame.  Yet, it is disorienting to imagine life before.  It is as if this is always how it was supposed to be.

August 2nd we remember M^s "gotcha day"!

It was this day one year ago that I began to realize just how brave and strong our oldest daughter is.  M^ left her country and the life she had to become part of our family and our life.  She had only a glimpse of what awaited her through a hand full of photos.  Through translators, we did our best to convey the love for her that had a grown in our hearts.  Even through the uncertainty and unknown, M^ faced her future with courage and a smile.  We had traveled for countless hours.  Exhausted, worn and culture shocked Kevin, M^ and I arrived back home from Ethiopia.  Our family suddenly became a family of seven.

It was a beautiful, tiring and blessed day all at the same time.  Looking back through the lens of the past year I can't imagine our family, our life, any other way.  God calls us in all sorts of ways.  I am forever thankful that he called our family together!

Happy Gotcha Day M^

Photo Update!

So I heard from the grandparents and others that they wanted to see pictures of our family's transition.  To appease the family here are some photos and some shameless bragging on our girls.

Since we live on a cul-de-sac the girls have a great place to ride bikes.  They've even make friends with some neighbors and have some buddies to ride with.  

There are some great parks in the area.

"K" found some teeny tiny frogs.  And of course made some friends!

"M^" has become the mighty tooth-puller.  T"" lost another one!!!  At this rate we'll have quite the jack-o-latern for Halloween.

Fun times in the back yard.

When there are this many girls in the house the kitchen floor becomes a nail salon on Saturday mornings!

"T" is becoming more confident on her bike.  Hopefully we'll be able to take the training wheels off soon.

The older sisters are so great to help "T" read!

Being in the south now there have had to be many conversations about tough issues.  My girls are learning a lot about current events.

We've found an awesome Ethiopian restaurant in the area!  "T" LOVES her doro wat!  The amazing waitress even brought a small plate of it just for her!

We found another amazing park to explore!

We travel to the beach with other people from our congregation.  It was a family retreat filled with relationship building, faith, and fun!

It was the first time at the ocean for all five of the girls.

"K" and "S" found an awesome shell and creature.  No worries, the Burkes are purely catch and release.  We had fun seeing the sea life and then set them free back into the water.

Had to have some sandcastle construction too!

We are all transitioning well.  So many people ask if we are enjoying the heat.  I'm not sure we're enjoying it.  However, we'll definitely be okay with the weather here in January!  

It is quite the adventure for us all!  Thanks for following along!

Ministry Transitions: A Peek Inside My Brain, Part 1

Transition can be hard.  It can also be exhilarating, exhausting, confusing, life-giving and time consuming.  Right now, me being in transition with ministry means that I have a huge learning curve to overcome.  New congregation.  New faces.  New names (which hopefully I will learn sooner than later!)  New vision.  New mission.  New lingo.  New expectations. 

So, what do I do when I need to think it out?  Write.  Because, let’s be honest Kevin should only be forced to converse about and shoulder part of what my brain needs to express.

Please feel free to engage in conversation with me about any or all of this.  Leave comments.  Follow the blog.  Message me.  Engage.

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So, I’m reading this book.  Very thought provoking book on discipling culture. 

This strikes me . . .

“Here’s the thing that can be difficult to wrap our minds around:  If you make disciples, you always get the church.  But if you make a church, you rarely get disciples.”

Breen, M., & Cockram, S. (2011). Building a discipling culture (2nd ed., p. 11). USA: Kairos.

This speaks to me on several levels.  The first way . . . as a parent.  What am I teaching my children?  Am I teaching them to follow Jesus?  Or am I teaching them to go to church?  Going to church is not a bad thing.  It’s a very good thing.  However, it’s not the only thing.  So many families fall into the trap of taking their kids/sending their kids to church to be brought up in the faith.  Yet, they miss the point that home is the “church” too.  Children “catch” their faith from those around them modeling faith day to day.  Faith isn’t something that you can just teach people.  The whole process of making disciples starts in the home with the people closest to us each and every day. 

Secondly this speaks to me as disciple of Christ.  The word “you” stands out to me in a big way.  When we talk about people making disciples, we’re not talking about only pastors.  Don’t get me wrong, pastor are awesome.  However, they are not the only ones called to make disciples.  Disciples make other disciples.  It’s the way it works.  Each of us that are following Jesus are called to help others follow Jesus as well.  It’s that simple (yet at the same time, that difficult!)

Finally, I also have to look at it from the lens of a ministry professional.  How many times do we as church members seek to build the church?  Build our little slice of the Body of Christ in brick and mortar, in programs and events, in assumed community, in the new and shiny.  The root of ministry isn’t to build the church.  It’s to make disciples. 

Jesus tells us in Matthew 28:19-20 . . .

"Go therefore and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything that I have commanded you.  And remember, I am with you always, to the end of the age."  (NRSV)

The disciples make up the church.  We have to make disciples before disciples can come together as the Body of Christ, the church.

So, there are my thoughts.  What are yours?

4 Weeks of Transition

The Burke family has now been down south for about a month now.  So far it has been a wonderful transition and everyone is doing well.  However, there are several things that moving to a new setting has caused us to remember. Some life lessons based on our experiences so far . . .

Moving and unpacking is a process.  Hopefully not a lifelong process.
We purposefully are leaving certain items in storage and certain boxes packed.  However, it was never my intention leave this many boxes packed.  There are still half a dozen boxes in the living room.  A few in the bedroom.  Some more stacked in the dining room.  It has become a process of . . . "What do we need?"  "Where is it?"  Thankfully it was a fairly organized packing system.  In thinking and preparing for this move I wanted to be highly organized.  I feel as though I was fairly successful.  It is just so difficult to reorganize and drastically downsize all at the same time.

It's hard to feel settled when you know the house you're in isn't a permanent location.
Part of the dilemma of unpacking is complicated by the intention of only renting a house for one year before buying.  By the time we feel settled we'll hopefully be moving to another house in the area.  It's living in limbo.  One foot in a rent house and the other in a box.  At the same time we desperately need to establish roots, routines and a sense of home for our girls.

All sunscreen is not created equal.
The sunscreen that was adequate up north is not adequate down south.  We learned that lesson in a very hard way at the beach this last week.  We used the same sunscreen that provided good protection up north.  Five out of seven of us left the beach with tremendous sunburns.  I'll let you guess which five were suffering!

Much of the difficulty of any transition is exacerbated by the fact that Kevin and I are introverts.
This may surprise some people.  Then, there are others that have known this all along.  We love being around people.  We really do, I promise!  It's just that it takes an enormous amount of our energy to do so.  This is especially true and even more intense when we're around so many people that are new to us.  We're currently looking for a balance between reaching out to develop those relationships and honing in on our family and personal time.  So, if I'm looking a little weary don't worry.  It is probably due to some super fantastic awesome relationship building with the people around me!

Community is incredibly important.
Even though I'm feed and rejuvenated by quality alone time, community is the anchor for me in the world.  Community and "Familying" takes time and you must be intentional about forming it.  (For more about Familying check out a previous post.  http://ajourneybutnotalone.blogspot.com/2014/10/familying-is-relational-process-that.html)  This is nothing that can be forced or rushed.  It must develop through intentional time, conversations, care for one another and trust.  Being here, we're starting over with developing a local community and doing Familying with them.  We still have our established groups of Familying.  We love them just as much as we always have.  It just looks different with them now that we're in another geographic location.  Starting again with the people around us leads me to greatly grieve the Famlying Community we had surrounding us up north.  It also repeats the cycle of grief for the Familying Community we miss so much in our hometown.  It's drawing up all the mixed emotions of loss of community and excitement of forming new community.  In the midst of it all, these communities, new and old, are extremely important to us.

Those are just a few of the lessons we've been reminded of so far.  It has been quite the adventure for the first month.  We'll see what new things await us in the coming weeks.  I'm sure there is much to learn, experience and develop.

I am paralyzed with nothing to say . . . because there is everything to say

Up to now I have been silent on this issue.  My silence isn't a sign of apathy or ignorance.  Nor is it a sign of glazing over a hot button issue for the sake of what make appear as peace.  

I have stayed silent because I honestly don't know what to say.  

I look at my beautiful children.  

Two have blue eyes.  Three have brown eyes.  

Two have golden hair.  One has brunette hair.  Two have deeply black ebony hair.  

Three have hair straight as an arrow.  One has hair that can hang in pencil curls.  One has hair that is curlier and kinkier than you could even begin to imagine.

Three have fair lily white skin.  Two have skin that is deep chocolate brown.

Five are beautiful from the inside to the outside.  Beautiful just as God created them to be.

Tonight, I watch on as Kevin sits on the couch deep in conversation with "M^".  As I noticed they were talking earlier, he gave me the cue to put the younger ones to bed.  The cue was . . . "we're having a conversation about race."  You see, my absolutely amazing husband is much stronger than I am.  I am unable to even compose this blog post without tears streaming down my face.  Let alone have a conversation with our sweet "M^" about the ugly truth that plagues this world.  

We recently moved.  I am not naive.  I knew full well that when we chose to move to the deep south there would be different kinds of racial tensions.  Little did I know that about a week after we moved terror would strike a mere 125 miles away.  While we do talk age appropriately with our children about most things that happen in the world around us . . . this time I feel I am paralyzed with nothing to say . . . because there is everything to say.  

I look at my beautiful children.

As the world stands now . . . 

Three will be judged differently by their paperwork and applications . . . because of the look and sound of their names.

Two will be paid less when they are hired for a job . . . because of their skin color.

Two will be looked at differently by security guards and police officers . . . because of their skin color.

Two are hated by some people in this world . . . solely because of their skin color.

Two are treated differently . . . 

Two are considered . . .

Two are . . . 

Two . . .

I could go on endlessly.  There are so many elements to this issue.  Wait . . . that's not fair to call it an issue.  Racial issues.  No.  This is life for people.  It's not only an issue when it is the life you live.  White privilege allows whites to consider this an issue.  It is NOT an issue.  It is so MUCH MORE THAN AN ISSUE!!!  It is people's lives that we're discussing when we discuss racism.  We need to understand that.  Right now I'm trying to wrap my brain around understanding that with my amazing daughters.  Some who look different than me.  Some who come from a different place than me.  Some who will experience racism not as an issue, but as life.  It all starts with conversation.  For right now I am paralyzed with nothing to say . . . because there is everything to say.  In my home right now, Kevin is able to say those words.  However, the time has come for all of us to have conversation.  To not be afraid of the words, the emotions, the guilt.  It is time for us to face racism as it unfortunately is . . . a deeply seeded life experience.  It is time for conversation.  It is time for holding people accountable.  It is a time for change.  The time is now.

First Day Jitters

Feeling a little anxious.  Jittery.  Nervous.  Not sure if I'm nauseous or going to wet my pants.  Yeah, pretty much like the night before my first day of junior high school.

Tomorrow is the beginning of a new adventure with the amazing people of Pilgrim Lutheran Church.  I feel blessed beyond measure for this opportunity.  It is a new call in a new direction.  I'm excited to live into what it means to be a minister of community life formation.  It's time to live a life of discipleship up, in and out!  (More on all that awesomeness in later blogs!)

Prayer always helps me calm those jitters.  So, here is my prayer for this evening...

Abba, Father,

I kneel before you this evening humbled by the opportunity to serve in the world you created.  Walk with me as this new call to ministry unfolds.  Be by my side as I strive to serve the people of Pilgrim and the community surrounding this congregation.  Work in the hearts of these partners in ministry as we learn together what it means to be your followers in our daily lives.  Bring us alongside one another to praise you, to develop relationships that feed our faith and to serve those around us.  

In your ever holy and gracious name I pray.

Amen.

(and if prayer doesn't calm things down, there is a large bottle of wine in the fridge!)

Our stressful, wonderful, crazy, challenging, and inspirational week!

It is a strange thing . . . packing up all of your worldly possessions, traveling across the country and then setting down new roots.  It has been quite the adventure thus far.  Here are some snip-its of our journey in words and images.

We had boxes . . . 

a LOT of boxes!

All of the kids were amazing with helping to pack!

Kevin's mom, Iva, was here helping pack too!  Her "catch phrase" ended up on some of the boxes as well.

Of course we had sweet messages from other's as well!

This was my favorite box because . . . you know . . . who packs CDs with a Martin Luther Costume in a Seagram's whiskey box!

The POD arrived and we packed about 1/3 of our possessions in it.  Not to be seen for about a year!

"M^" was an amazing help loading the POD.

I'm not sure they could have packed much more in there.

It was great having both Kevin's mom and my parents there to help with the packing.

The girls awesome bunk beds had to be disassembled.  

Then, as the departure date drew near the big truck arrived.  

Of course, we made time to stage pics of Kevin working while the rest of us lounged!

It seemed like there were a million boxes to pack into the truck.

Somehow they all started fitting in!

"S" was so sleepy from packing that she fell asleep on the couch inside the moving truck.

Amazingly it all fit.

The kitties traveled in their crates and did wonderfully!

It was so nice to have such amazing friends journey with us!

First lunch break on the road.

"M^" was good as long as she had her tunes!

The big truck was a popular place to ride for all the kiddos.

Thor was the guard cat at the hotel.  No one was coming in that room without him noticing.

A little early morning breakfast.

Who wouldn't love lunch with a crown!

The kiddos had a blast with the walkie talkies.  We played name that song between cars!

Thor in his digs for the trip.

Debby had a carrot war at the gas station.  Yeah, I know . . . only Debby!

We drove through some beautiful scenery.  

Of course I had a view of the back of the U-haul for the majority of the trip.  

There was an EPIC sing-along in my vehicle!

With the sing-along also came lots of caffine!

We found some refreshments at our stop for the night!

Along with some silliness at the hotels!

We finally arrived!

The girls had to roll around in the empty rooms.

The unloading soon began.  

Debby and Iva arranged the kitchen.  

The girls "arranged" their room.

Each day the living room looked more and more livable.  

"M^" enjoyed having "S*" help her unpack into her very own room.

The girls were so good to help with EVERYTHING.  They were amazing!

"M^"s comment when I took this picture was . . . "Debbbbbbbby, this is a working picture, not a hugging picture!"

First real dinner in our new house!

Of course, followed by ice cream and a movie!

After getting settled in a bit, we had to check out the local parks at the schools and the church.

There were a few issues though.  When we arrived our sewer didn't work.  A few days later the plumbing under the kitchen sink broke and we had water everywhere.  On the bright side everything is now working and we've only had to kill one scorpion in our house!  

Sunday was wonderful.  It was like we finally got to the other half of our move, our faith community.

 After church we had to sample some of the local cuisine . . . boiled peanuts.  The girls have had canned ones before.  However, the fresh ones are, oh, so much better.  

This week has been nothing short of stressful, wonderful, crazy, challenging, and inspirational.  I'm looking forward to see what next week has in store for us!  I'll be starting my new position at Pilgrim Lutheran Church and the girls will be attending their MAD2+ Camp (VBS).  It's bound to be another adventure!