365 days

365 days ago seemed like a day that we had waited for . . . forever.  October 31, 2013 was a long day of traveling.  Kevin and I were exhausted.  "T" was exhausted.  We had been through multiple airports and planes that day.  A friend drove us home from the airport in the rain.  It was Halloween and we knew that "M*", "S", and "T" had been trick or treating and were probably soaking wet.  We entered our home and in the midst of exhaustion and sugar highs an overwhelming peace was suddenly present.  We were home with our littlest girl.  For that moment the world seemed just right.  It had not been an easy road, but we were finally here and "T" home with us.  Peace.  

In the year that "T" has been home so many changes have happened.  She has gone from a very shy little girl to one that is boisterous and definitely the life of the party.  She has learned her 3rd language now (English) and is very much fluent.  (Gumuz was her first language and Amharic her second language.)  She's gone up a size and a half in clothing.  "T" has grown several inches and gained several pounds.  "T" finished 4K and is now doing amazing well in Kindergarten.  Her teacher is amazed at where she is at.  When she first came home she was very reluctant to engage with Kevin in any way.  Now, she's very much a daddy's girl!  She's an integral part of our family.  We couldn't imagine life without her. 
 

So we are so happy to celebrate "Gotcha Day" with Miss "T" today.  Our first one with many more to come.   We love you sweet little "T"!

“FAMILYING” is the relational process that the Spirit uses to form faith

I love having conversations with my friends, neighbors, and just about anyone.  Most of the time those talks eventually roll on to what life is like at the Burke household.  At a conference last week I was delighted to share time and conversation with my mentor and friend, Nancy Going.  Nancy is currently the Interim Executive Director of Vibrant Family Ministries.  As we updated each other on life and work we eventually ended up at the newest idea that is blooming into a movement.  Familying.  

“FAMILYING” is the relational process that the Spirit uses to form faith.

This is what the Burke family is about!  We have our biological family surrounding us.  We have our faith family surrounding us.  We don't do life alone.  We do life with those who are walking alongside us in a very real, present and meaningful way.  Thank-you to all those that are "familying" with us!

Please take the time to read more about the Burke family and the familying movement at . . . 
http://blog.vibrantfaith.org/2014/10/14/three-first-steps-toward-familying-at-your-church/

Here is some more background on what Nancy has to say about the idea of familying . . . You need to check this out!
http://blog.vibrantfaith.org/2014/09/30/are-you-familying/

Burke Family Update . . . Love

When we were in the process of adopting we had a lot of "hoops" to jump through.  Some were low and easy.  Some were higher and took a little bit to get through.  Some felt like they were on fire and we were risking it all to jump through them.  One of these "hoops" was all of the adoption education we had to do.  This hoop wasn't all that difficult.  However, it was time consuming.  There were books to read, webinars to watch, conversations to have and worksheets to pour over.  By the time Kevin and I finished all the adoption education we were required to do, I felt like I was filled to the brim with knowledge about what it would be like to live as a family created through adoption.  Yet, at the same exact time I felt completely unprepared and unworthy of being the parent of a child that was adopted.  There were just so many factors and so many variables that would determine how our expanding family would function. 

Since we've had the girls home, there have definitely been struggles from all sides.  Language barriers.  Culture shocks.  Unrealistic expectations.  Re-allotting time, attention and affection.   I could go on . . . and on . . . If any family formed through adoption paints a completely rosy picture for others . . . they are lying.  We have struggled.  More at times and less at other times.  However, every single situation we have found ourselves in has resulted in us learning something about ourselves, our daughters and what it means to be a family. 

Some ideas that, for now, we've had to set our minds on during the most recent part of our journey.  It might not always look like this.  However, for now this is life . . .

We must live day to day.  This does not mean that you don't plan for or anticipate the future.  For me, it simply means that there are times that it is vital to set your priorities based on the needs of that particular moment. 

We know that this is a long journey not a sprint.  The language will come eventually.  Catching up with school takes time.  Relationships take a while to build.  When children are in your arms from their first breath you seem to have all the time in the world to help them grow, mature, learn and develop into the amazing people God created them to be.  When little people (or even ones that are a couple inches taller than you) enter your life, not as infants, but as children or teens, you are faced with the sense of a fixed amount of time to raise them to adulthood.  That can be scary. 

We have to be honest about how things are going.  At least with ourselves.  This is hard for me.  So many people ask me how things are going with our family.  Most of the time I smile and say "Wonderful!"  It's true, things are wonderful with our family!  Truly wonderful!  However, it's not a completely honest answer.  There are some rough patches and it can be hard to be honest about that.  Not every person needs all, or even some of the details.  Many of the things that we struggle with are personal, private and part of our children's personal story that won't be shared.  It is times like this that I deeply appreciate the knowing look of other parents of children that were adopted and their question of "How are you?"  That communicates so much without the need for many words.  Thanks.

I feel like I will have many different phases similar, yet different from this.  It will be an ever evolving outlook on life and family.  However, there is one thing that will stay constant and steady. Above anything else we live in love.  This has been demonstrated very well through our family and in particular "T" and "M^".  As "T" has developed with her English we have been privy to many ideas and concepts that float through her thoughts.  She is quite the thinker.  On numerous occasions "T" has looked at me with her deep brown eyes.  With a steady gaze she says "I love our family."  Admittedly, I get a little misty eyed and have to quickly reply "me too" before I totally lose it and start blubbering.  It's really awesome though.  I love, that she loves, our family.  I love our family too.  Even though there is still a big language barrier with "M^" she's able to share her love for us and vice versa.  While at the hospital we had access to a translating system.  As the doctors finished using it to explain a procedure they asked if "M^" wanted to tell us, her parents, anything.  After she said no, the wonderful interpreter encouraged her in Amharic.  "Don't you want to tell them hello.  Or maybe you should tell them 'I love you.'"  "M^" quickly replied back, still in Amharic, "I don't need you to tell them 'I love you' for me!  I can say that in English!"  'I love you' is a phrase that is heard often in our household.  But make no mistake it is not taken lightly.  Those words are not just tossed around.  They are said, felt and meant with great weight and meaning. 

I am positive that there will be more struggles in the future.  Some that we may not even see coming our way.  I still feel like we are filled to the brim with knowledge about what it is like to live as a family created through adoption.  Yet, still, at the same exact time I feel completely unprepared and totally unworthy of being the parent, not only of the children that were adopted but also born to us.  I think that might be a good thing.  It'll keep me on my toes and most definitely grounded in the love that we share.

Burke Family Update . . . Fun

When it became a reality that we were going to be a family of 7 many thoughts ran through my mind.  "Wow, things are going to be busy!"  "That's going to be a ton of socks in the laundry!"  "How exactly is all of this going to work?"  One thought that I missed and we are realizing is "WOW!  Our family sure does have a lot of fun together!"  We truly love being together and spending time together.  Here is a little bit about how we're having fun with our growing family!

Back in August the4 younger girls were able to go to dance camp at the dance studio they are in.  This was big for "T"!  She finally got to do something that she watched her sisters do all last school year.  "T" was so very excited to dance and had a great time!  Wow, that little girl has some rhythm!

All of the girls enjoyed dance camp.  It is great that is something the 4 younger girls can do all together. 

We have an amazing dance teacher!  She picked out songs that the girls really liked and created fun routines.  She is so awesome that she even asked for some Ethiopian music so that she could modify a dance that would be cultural for "T" and help engage "M^".  What a terrific dance teacher!!!

All of the girls have really grown in their abilities and their confidence.  I am extremely grateful that they can participate in a activity that challenges them physically and artistically. 

In the midst of visiting doctors and making all of the appointments we had to . . . just had to, find time for some Ethiopian food.  The closest Ethiopian restaurant is 2 hours away.  However, we have to travel there for "M^"s doctor appointments fairly often.  The deal we have with her is that every time we have to visit a doctor we'll also have a meal at the Ethiopian restaurant!  It makes it a little better!

At the end of summer we celebrated by taking the girls and some friends to a small local amusement park.  Everyone had an amazing time!  I love to see my girls smile!

The "M*"s favorite is always the roller coaster.  I think she's rubbed off on "K" and "M^".  This was their first time to ride and they had a blast!!!

I think "M^" had a great time on her very first roller coaster ride!

As we were getting ready for school that meant a lot of school supply shopping.  To make the long day go easier we had to stop by one of our new favorite Mexican food restaurants for lunch.  It's not Ethiopian food, but I think it's a close second in "M^"s list. 

"K" was an extra happy camper because this restaurant does a great job of making sure they have gluten free options.  They even added black olives to her nachos just to help make her happy!

Since it was a full day of shopping for supplies they girls were easily able to talk Kevin into getting ice cream that afternoon. 

I should at least be glad that ice cream wasn't actual dinner :)  They all love their ice cream!

We have had so much fun as a family.  The conversations over dinner.  The silly "plays" that the girls put on.  The tickle fights, the sock wars while putting away laundry, the stories . . . it all blends together into a really wonderful family experience.  Even though there are rough patches as well, we all have those, I would not trade one minute with my family for anything this world could offer.  I pray that as the years go on we will all continue to lean and grow, to laugh and to have fun together.

Burke Family Update . . . Home

It has been a wonderful 2 months becoming a family of 7.  There have been so many wonderful ways that I've watched all 5 of the girls grow, mature, and become sisters. 

We have had a lot of fun with the tree swing.  It's awesome that something so simple can bring so much joy.  The girls love taking turns on the swing and the big goal is to reach the branches above.  "M^" has enjoyed the swing almost as much as the 4 younger girls!

Our first picture all together.  We have waited so long to have this picture of all our family, home and together. 

The girls have really bonded together.  "M^" and "M*" enjoy sitting together.  However, they almost always end up in a huge tickle fight! 

There is also a lot of dancing in our house.  Whether its the girls practicing for their dance class or Kevin and the girls dancing and being silly, music has a big place in our house. 

We have little girls growing up and that means that teeth are being lost.  "K" worked on this one for quite a while.  We're also waiting on little Miss "T" to lose her first tooth!

We have a lot of fun around home.  However, our little girls also help out a lot.  The girls have been awesome about helping out around the house.  For now they actually like doing dishes.  I hope that keeps up through their teenage years!

While they are very willing to do chores around the house, it does often end up in giggling!  They seem to be able to make any chore fun.

"S" and "M*" both enjoy taking guitar lessons.  "K" is doing great with her violin.  We're in conversation with "T" and "M^" about if they want to start an instrument.  We'll see. 

As much as I love pictures of all of my family this is one of my new favorites.  These two were able to spend about a month together while still in Ethiopia.  It is wonderful to now see them reunited and bonding as sisters.  "M^" has been absolutely wonderful and patient with her younger sisters.  Equally, the 4 younger sisters are unbelievable enamored with their older sister.  We have some wonderful times ahead of us.  We are blessed beyond measure. 

Burke Family Update . . . school

Many people have been asking us how things are going with our enlarged happy family of 7.  I am more than happy to share some of the latest updates from the Burke household.  We've had a lot of questions about "M^" and her transition into school.  Here's a little bit about school . . .

"M^" started in our local middle school earlier in September.  She has really enjoyed school.  The staff worked with us on setting up an appropriate schedule for her.  "M^" participates in gym, art, language arts, reading, math, and science.  She has many friends that she hangs out with at school and at church.  This group of kids has welcomed her with open arms.  I couldn't ask for more caring peers to surround my daughter as she makes this transition into school here.  I am truly thankful for each and everyone of these young people.

"M*" has had a great start to the school year at the local intermediate school.  She really enjoys reading and is getting plenty of reading homework and loving it!  Her favorite part of school is going to the library.  Imagine that!

"S" has really enjoyed her class at the local intermediate school.  She has a couple of her good friends in the same class so it's even better this year.  Her favorite part of school is gym class.  Wow, can this kiddo run!

"K" is super ready for a great school year.  She loves creating things and thinking outside the box.  Often times way outside the box!  "K" talks about art being her most favorite part of school. 

"T" is super excited to be at the same school as her big sister now.  She loves each and every part of school.  She's learning and growing so fast.  Her teachers can't believe that she's only been here with us 11 months.  She is fluent in English now and really has been since the spring.  She does well in her class and is caught up with all the other students her age.  We are very proud of everything "T" has accomplished!

It amazes me how we get all 5 kiddos ready for school in the morning (and there on time!)  Our breakfast table is always covered in backpacks and lunch boxes. 

Our kitchen is busy in the mornings with the girls making lunches and gathering snacks.  It can be hectic at times, but I wouldn't trade it for anything. 

We feel so fortunate that all the girls enjoy school so very much.  We greatly appreciate all of their teachers for teaching them and caring about them.  It's going to be a great school year!

Burke Family Update . . . Birthday!

I love talking about and celebrating my awesome children.  Some folks have asked how we celebrated "M^"s birthday earlier in September!

Our Sweet "M^"s birthday . . .

A Burke family tradition is having doughnuts for breakfast the morning of a birthday!  So here is "M^" very confused about having sweets for breakfast, but enjoying anyway!

I usually like to make the girls' birthday cakes, but we found ourselves a little short on time to prepare for this one!  The local grocery store did a great job even with her favorite color!

We invited "M^"s friends from school and church over for pizza, cake, ice cream and a campfire.  Her friends were so gracious to come and hang out for the evening.  They ate, laughed, played games and made smores.  I think "M^" had a really good time with her friends there. 

I am so looking forward to celebrating many many more birthdays with our beautiful daughter.  Happy Birthday "M^"!!!!

Burke Family Update . . . Church and Faith

We have so many people asking different questions about how things are going now that we're a family of 7!  We thought we'd take a few blog posts to give some answers . . . 

Has "M^" become involved in church activities?

I am happy to say that anytime we are at church "M^" is very happy to be there.  She loves being at church whether it is with our whole family or just her and I for youth group.

In August she went on our senior high's service trip.  It was a small group of girls.  They were all willing to try Ethiopian food one evening.  "M^" was very happy to share that with them.  Many of the other girls really enjoyed the meal!

We even had coffee afterward.

During the weekend we cleaned at a homeless shelter for men.  The work the girls did was very appreciated by the residents and staff.  We also sorted holiday items for the local thrift store.  The girls had a taste of what life was like in a large downtown area.  It was very eye opening for many of them from a small rural town.

"M^" did a great job helping out with all of the projects.  It was also amazing to see the other 5 girls interact with her and develop friendships.  I am extremely thankful to all of them for being so welcoming and kind.

In the evening we had a good time playing in the pool.  "M^" was able to go swimming for the first time ever.  Her friends were very excited to be with her for that big "first" in her life. 

"M^" goes to worship with our family each and every Sunday.  It is very different from the worship services we attended in Ethiopia. However, she seems to understand more and more of each church service.  The congregation is so welcoming to her and those around us always greet her and the rest of the Burke girls. Now that Sunday school has started all of the younger girls go to a Sunday school class.  "M^" paired up with one of our high school girls and is volunteering in a class each week. 

Wednesday afternoons and evenings are pretty full as well.  "M^" comes with her middle school friends to our faith community's afterschool ministry.  The middle school students all have dinner together and then head to confirmation class.  "M^" goes to class with her peers and has some high school girls that go with and help her.  After confirmation classes there is a short worship service and then the high school youth gather for youth group.  "M^" stays for youth group and enjoys watching movies, games and Bible study with all of them.  Wednesdays are busy but so fun!  "M^" always enjoys hanging out with the other youth and doing faith formation things.

I know that "M^" has an extraordinary faith.  Watching her worship while we were in Ethiopia, witnessing her read her Bible everyday and seeing her face deep in prayer.  I am blessed to know that my daughter knows Jesus.  She probably knows God and is in tune with her faith far greater than I could ever imagine.  Because of situations in her life she has had to rely on God more than most people will ever choose too.  God has walked alongside her in the journey of life so far.  He will continue to.  Now, Kevin and I are lucky enough to be able to join them as well.