Smoldering Tuesday

Kevin and I had talked about adoption when we were first married.  It had always been in the back of our mind.  However, after our three biological children were born we had put that idea even further back.  After “K” was born we decided our family was complete and we were finished having kiddos. 

That was until Smoldering Tuesday . . .

Back in February of 2012 Kevin had come across a website selling specialized t-shirts as a fundraiser for an orphan charity.  We thought this was intriguing and had briefly discussed it.  Later that week it was Tuesday, the day before Ash Wednesday, and we were having a conversation in the kitchen.  I don’t even remember what the conversation was about, probably something mundane.  I don’t even remember thinking the thought.  However, out of my mouth comes “so are we going to adopt or is that just something we thought about and are past now?”  It was a surreal moment for me.  I don’t even remember processing that thought.  I don’t even feel like it was really me saying that.  It was one of those moments that I chalk up to God taking over my mouth and saying what needed to be said.  Kevin was just as surprised as I was.  However, the conversation began.  “Are we really considering this?”  “Is this really where God was calling us to go?”  It was time to dig in and do some serious discernment on the path that we were being called to go down. 

This was a HUGE moment for us.  That whole Lent season became a time of reflection and discernment for our family.  We found it very fitting that this occurred the day right before Ash Wednesday.  We decided to dub it Smoldering Tuesday.  Before the ashes of Wednesday we had something smoldering in our lives.  I find it a fitting description when I look up the definition of “smolder.”

        Smolder:

                1.  Burn slowly:  to burn slowly and gently, usually with some smoke, but without
                        a flame

                2.  Have suppressed emotion:  to have or show a strong emotion that is
                        suppressed, but liable to flare up at any time.

                3.  Exist in background:  to exist in the background, liable to appear or reappear
                        at any moment

This was a thought that had been planted long ago.  It had been smoldering in the background for so long.  Now it flared up and appeared in a very real and amazing way.  For us, the Tuesday before Lent will always be Smoldering Tuesday.